those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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