so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Even my vagina gasped.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
