Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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