Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
