Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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