: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
