He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
