She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
