Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
