Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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