it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
