I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
operation harelip BJ is a go
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize