We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
