why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
