I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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