I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize