Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
