You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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