Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
