i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
