so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Everything about him screamed your future.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
