haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
