Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
