Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
