:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
