I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
