Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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