I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
