I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize