quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize