I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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