At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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