every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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