I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
