Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
