I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
