so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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