It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
