It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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