my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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