You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
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We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
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I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.