i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
