I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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