Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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