Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
