I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize