If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
