you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize