I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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