bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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