somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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