I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
