pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
