Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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