I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
