"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My liver just broke up with me...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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