Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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