I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
