I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer