I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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