Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize