Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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