508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
